Not a Sparrow
By Hilkiah Angell
From inside strongman's den I heard him shouting: "What's going on out there? You are supposed to be at worship! I'll have your..." I cut him off as I sailed into the room and pinned him into the corner. "Remember me Hypocrites? What brings such spiritual wickedness in high places to this Bedlam?" I said as I stuck the point of my blade against his gray neck. He screamed in terror: "Wait! I have rights! The director, he wants me, he likes me. A regular Sigmund Freud he is." He laughed then, a fearful sound from hell. He continued with: "I know why you're here. I know. It's your boy. That boy won't get out, we'll get him. I'll make a fool out of you Hilkiah. Your boss made the mistake this time. This one's weak. He's vulnerable. Right under your nose we'll take him. Remember 'free will', Hilkiah? We don't have to respect that. We will ascend to the throne of the earth, you watch. Then I'll settle with you. He'll join us Hilkiah. You wait and see. There will be nothing you can do about it." I said: "I will leave you with an oath Hypocrites. Not on your eternally dead carcass." We retired then, satisfied that we had completed this mission. As we headed back for home, Shammah said, "Quite a night's work, I hope there's more to come." I replied. "I think you can count on that."
Not long after this, Joseph cast his eyes upon Edie. Edie was a secretary in one of the offices where Joseph worked. The young man was smitten from the first day he laid his eyes on her. Shammah said, "Hilkiah, have you noticed the look that comes across Joseph's face whenever he looks at her?" "Yes." I said. "In this case, he might have to love her from afar. She is quite a bit older than he is." Benaiah said: "Older woman or not, she's acting a bit kittenish." I replied, "Perhaps an older woman might be good for him, after all. It might settle him down a bit. Check her background and see what you can find out."
As the year went by we saw Joseph and Edie together quite often. Benaiah's observation about Edie seemed to have been correct. She was captured by our innocent and charming boy. Oh, excuse me, young man. "They look like they might last a while together. Benaiah, what have you found out about Edie?" He related to me; "The report may not be good. She was given into foster care when she was born. She doesn't know her father at all. She's been in sixteen different foster homes in as many years. Somewhere along the way she did meet her mother. Edie calls the last foster home, her own. She still lives with this same woman. She calls her by 'aunt'. Edie is emotionally damaged, I'm sure. She's never been secure and never received any love. She's the sweetest little thing, nevertheless. That seems to be the attraction she has to Joseph, our little innocent." Later that year, Joseph and Edie were married. It was the first time he appeared to be happy. Alas, Edie did have some residual problems from her difficult childhood. Her problems were in the area of what you on earth would call 'intimacy'." She had much difficulty receiving love both emotionally and physically. Joseph was by this time a young virile man, and he took this as rejection.
Joseph's job had changed. He began to work on the wards. At the same time, he secured a second job for the night shift. He was still active in softball and golf, and he was burning the candle at both ends, so to speak. His day job gave him access to the Sorcerer's cabinet. And that was filled with all kinds of evil substances. It was not long before he heard of the Chemicals, you might call 'uppers'. He replenished his supply of 'downers' and continued to drink constantly. He needed Alcohol or Chemicals at all times. Many voices clashed in his mind, and his thought patterns became disoriented. His moral lease began to erode, and he lost touch with the God of his youth. The years went by and Joseph and Edie became parents of four beautiful children. Joseph tried again and again to right himself, to become the father the children needed. Alcohol had by then developed a strong hold and Joseph was unable to free himself. Goaded on by Alcohol, Sorcery, Rejection and Depression, he sought to solace his aching mind and spirit by drowning himself in the unholy spirits. When his conscious mind could no longer control his own will, the enemy was given an open door to work their infamous deeds.
Depression droned on in Joseph's ear one night as he sped down the highway. It said to his mind: 'Turn it over." Joseph whipped the wheel to his right and the sound of screeching tires, bending metal, and breaking glass echoed into the darkness. Shammah was in the car, and held him tightly as the car turned over and over again. There was little left of the car, but Joseph was safe due to divine intervention.
Toward the late 60's Edie and the children were struggling very hard with the many serious problems Joseph's drinking had brought to them. Edie and Joseph had once been so much in love, and now were estranged in their hearts and emotions. Needing love and intimacy more than ever before, but neither able to give or accept them. Between them stood Insecurity, Loneliness, Depression and Despair. Had they only been able to tap into the love of their Father in Heaven, and Jesus Christ the Savior. The Hand of the Lord was on every one of that household, yes every one, for not a sparrow falls.
In 1970 Margaret contracted cancer. Joseph had been very close to his mother, now the days of her illness were approaching their end. He sought desperately to tell her how much he loved her and how much he would miss her. While I was with him this night, no one else around, he went to his mother's home. She was lying on the couch, now very weak and in pain. Joseph knelt beside her and said: "Please mamma, don't die. You could be alright." Margaret told him how disappointed she was that he had ruined his life. She expressed great fears over his children's future. I saw the knife flash, suddenly it cut him in his heart. I heard once again, the mournful cackling of Rejection. Rejection boasted; "There. Now the job is finished."