|Many years ago I had a sexual relationship with a woman and she became pregnant.
I was very happy about it, even though it presented some problems.
A short time later I was struck by a feeling of dread. I knew when I couldn't get in touch with the woman that she had gone for an abortion.
I was grieved very deeply for my son, for I knew he had been a little boy. I cried out unto the Lord and He answered me. He said "Vengeance is mine, My son, but love and mercy are My ways."
I believed in my heart at that time that I had forgiven her. My own guilt had not yet overtaken me. It was a situation which never should have been. I knew better.
Try as I might, I could not forget the little boy. In my mind I could see him grow, I pictured him year by year. And I hurt for him so badly.
I was reading the Bible and praying about the little boy who had never been. I broke down in an agony of tears until I heard the Lord call to me.
He said "Look up here, My son, I have your little boy right here." I looked up in the Spirit and there was God on His throne, in the midst of a brilliant white light. In His right hand sat the sweetest most beautiful little boy. And God said, "I have your son right here, I call him 'Tim'."
It took me hours to recover but the first thing I wondered was why God called him 'Tim'. It was not a name I would have called him. I looked it up in Strongs Concordance and it means "Dear to God".
From that day on, I was able to stop grieving. Yet I am forever awed by the
great mercy and compassion of God that He could care that much for an unwanted little boy
and his father.